Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Jolly Roger

This is what I want for graduation. Here is the ensuing conversation (that never actually took place, however I am willing to have a dramatic pre-re-creation)

Brig: Yo, wife. I found a really cool watch that I would love to get for graduation.

Wife: Really? where did you see it?

Brig: On the wrist of the Managing Director of Corinthian Capital when I was in Manhattan last year.

Wife: That's ambitious, how much money did he make last year?

Brig: Probably $8-12 million, why?

Wife: How much did you make last year?
(since when did I ask stupid questions?)

Brig: Irrelevant, I was pursuing higher education and investing in our family's future.

Wife: Interesting, it seems that you invested more money in Diet Coke at Wendy's than you did in (sarcastic tone) "Our family's future."

Brig: Huh? Those were networking Diet Cokes. Why are you changing the subject?

Wife: I'm just saying, what you spent in Diet Coke probably could have bought that watch. How much is it anyway?

Brig: Interesting you should bring that up.

Wife: Stop stalling, number... now...!
(See here is where you know that I didn't actually have this conversation because instead of saying anything I'd probably stare him down or glare at him until he coughed up the price. This must be what he hears in his head when I give him the look. Apparently my staring is pretty expressive.)

Brig: So that is hard to answer. They only made 500 of them, and if you can find one, they run about $6,500.

Wife: Serious? You think that I am going to buy you a $6,500 watch, and you can't even find the last watch I bought you?

Brig: I'm pretty sure that that watch is in my pack, or maybe in the pocket of the tent I used to take Little Guy camping last year.

Wife: Last year? Camping? Random tent pockets? You might as well try to find Atlantis. You lost it, and you lost your new Mountain Hardware jacket too, where is that?

Brig: I get it, but this is different, this has a skull on it.

Wife: Great, a $6,500 watch with a skull on it, that makes me feel a lot better. I pretty sure you can get one of these out of a box of Cap'n Crunch.
(I got a watch out of a Fruit Loop box in my undergrad days. It had the toucan on it. And I think I still have it.)

Brig: Um, Cap'n Crunch isn't a pirate.

Wife: Serious, we are going to debate good versus evil, and you are asking for a $6,500 dime store novelty item? Wow, wow.

Brig: So that's a "no" right?

Wife: Go find you jacket, then come talk to me.

So, as you can see, I need a fund raiser. So rather than putting on a speedo and begging you to let me wash your car, I will just ask you to send cash. Thanks.

(PS - He's still looking for that jacket--last year's "had to have" item).


Michelle Walker said...

My favorite is that Cap'n Crunch isn't a pirate. That's news to me.

Stephanie said...

All I know is that there was no accompanying excel or powerpoint file with his request. He must not be that serious.

Blogger-In-Chief said...

Those documents are coming. This was just my first shot across the bow, if you will.