Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Brig Joins Vast Right Wing Conspiracy! What?

So today I decided to take a stand, well, I decided to stand up and have my picture taken anyway, and that is kind of the same thing.  In fact, I was personally inaugurated into the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy by the Architect himself, Karl Rove!

I was disappointed at the lack of a really cool handshake, as you can see here, this is just a normal firm business like handshake, one that you would use to consummate a newly negotiated price on an average piece of plywood at Home Depot.

I thought that joining an underground conspiracy would be a bit more flashy, maybe some kind of animal sacrifice or at least they would brand a little number or skull logo onto my wrist where I could cover it up with a flashy watch or something.  Wait, I think I've seen this movie.

Now I know what you are thinking, that picture is pretty fuzzy, how can I be sure that it is the real Karl Rove, when there was a ridiculous allegation that the Obama photo from last week was supposedly faked in Photoshop.  I can assure you that this was the real thing, the puppet master himself.

I was pleasantly surprised at how funny this guy was.  He had a commanding grasp on literally hundreds of political contests from municipal races to state and national races, and the poll numbers on each race.  He also quoted, word for word the footnotes to the hundred page CBO (congressional budget office) score of the current healthcare bill in front of congress.  The footnotes are way better than the actual text, of course they are even better when a right wing hack puts his spin on them (which he readily admitted to being a right wing hack).

So as the newest member of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, I demand that all Democrats disband their unpatriotic and sinister quest for global socialism, communism, jingoism, and chocolate cheerioism.  I further demand that all Democrats get jobs and pay for their own healthcare and retirement and 60" LCD TVs on which to watch Oprah and Judge Judy.

1 comment:

Spencer said...

Chocolate cheerioism. Winner. Nice.