Thursday, May 20, 2010

PSA - Get a Gold/Platinum Grill and Lower Your Medical Expenses!

I thought I would share this as I know many of you have been contemplating getting a new gold or platinum grill.

Now, you know that I have never been one to tell people where to go and not go to get fitted for a new grill, but I think I owe it to my readers to tell you that this is DEFINITELY the place for you.

If you are trying to look like Slick Rick or Flava Flav, you may want to know that they likely paid more than $100 for their Grillz, but that you will get the same benefits at a fraction of the cost!

I saw this advertisement on the side of a car and had to do a double take.  Can you really get a quality grill for $100, or is that a "Gold Like" grill.

You can't be too careful these days.  What kind of dental professional would do the work for this cheap?  The kind that are getting kickbacks  reimbursements and tax credits from the new health care legislation.  I'm not a lawyer, so I can't interpret the new 2500 page legislation, but I'm sure it's in there.

Everyone knows that if you look good, you feel good, so the new legislation might have [correctly] determined that EVERYONE looks better with a grill, so EVERYONE will feel better, thus lowering the need for expensive medical procedures.

Think about it, getting a new grill might cure cancer! I know that several pyramid multi-level marketing scams organizations are selling fruit drink supplement things that [off camera for legal reasons, namely the FDA is a sham organization clamping down on "legitimate" nutritional and medical claims merely because no testing has been done to "prove" the claims] they claim have caused their uncle's neighbor's cancer to go into remission.

For only $41.99/day, I know several people willing to sell you this stuff, not only that, but you can sign up to sign up other people to sell it too!!!  WIN WIN WIN (well, until you forget that you are an independent contractor, not an employee and the IRS sues you for unpaid personal and business taxes that you didn't know about, but that is a discussion for another day).

Back to the grill, think about it, you can either pay $15,326 a year for some goof juice in a pretty bottle that none of your friends will ever see, or you can drop $100 on a gold grill and get the same health benefit, plus all of your friends will be jealous!

Monday, May 17, 2010

More Birthday Fun... Complete with Monkeys!

The birthday celebration for the twins continued on Saturday, basically it was just an excuse for Wife to try out her newest cake idea, The Monkey Cake.

Wife made 2 [pretty decent (I don't like cake, so when I say pretty decent, that is really good)] banana cakes in big glass bowls.  After we added the fudge stripe cookies for ears, she showed me what they were supposed to look like after they were frosted.

I pretended to believe that I could pull it off, and although I thought they looked like shaved Ewoks, overall they didn't turn out too bad, even though I  had to perform Rhinoplasty on one of them as its nose was in the wrong place.This also conjured up memories of that Indiana Jones film where they were supposed to eat monkey brains, this would have been awesome if it was a banana cake with raspberry filling.  Sorry about that image.

The best part of the day, next to the cake was the construction of semi-custom safari vehicles.  I would have taken pictures of the construction, but there was rubber cement involved, so all adults had to be involved to make sure that we didn't end up having an "emergency vehicle" themed party complete with paramedics to help un-glue Twin #1s hand from the back of Twin #Trouble's head.

I thought they did a really good job, despite the really bad spray paint job I did on the boxes.  Come to find out, you need about a full can of spray paint to properly coat a cardboard box, that sounds like an ecological disaster.

To continue the theme, Wife decided to take the kids on a safari, complete with (in her words) geographically challenged Koala Bears ( we had the boys bring down all of their stuffed safari animals, and a few others hitched a ride, probably just to see what the big deal was.  

Because I am cheap, wife had to use her hands as pretend binoculars to help the kids find the animals that were hiding behind the LCDs on the TV in clear 1080p HD.

It was so life-like, it would have been scary if the animals had not been really poorly constructed sock puppets, but what can you expect from the Baby Einstein Company as it has had to endure government scrutiny recently for failing to magically transform every little kid that watches their productions into a child prodigy, and I thought it was just my kids that hadn't caught on, thanks Big Brother for informing me of this obviously defective and misleading product!

So despite not earning a bachelors degree in Zoology after watching the safari video while sitting in cardboard boxes [are the real requirements really that much harder than this anyway?], everyone had a good time.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Terrible 2's - Two at a Time!

So it begins, a birthday, some presents and then all Hades Breaks Loose!

I was shocked that the headlines weren't that bad after all.  In reality we had a really fun little family birthday party for the boys. 

I came home early from slaving away for "The Man", helped wife clean-up a little bit, and then I went upstairs to get the little monsters boys up from their naps. 

They were still a bit groggy by the time I coaxed them into looking over the balcony to the presents below, but when they saw presents, they perked up really fast.

Wife is a sucker for a kid with a smile, probably because smiles only rear their pretty heads between fights when one of the 3 brawlers ends up with a coveted red Lego or a Car or some other desired toy, but the moment is quickly lost as the other 2 determine that in order to show their displeasure and start to cry.  Life's little victories though, am I right?

So before we could have dinner, we had to let them open a couple of presents, otherwise they wouldn't have eaten anything.

Twin #1 decided (Left) to show you what his birthday cookie looked like half eaten, I just thought I would share.  You... are welcome.

While he loved his party hat, twin # Trouble (above) was not a big fan, that thing came off fast, and it didn't go back on.  I don't blame him, I am not a big fan of the party hat either.

While not the biggest hit of the night, I did think that the Buzz Lightyear and Woody toys made for the best representation of my photography skills, so that is what you are going to get today..

I liked how Woody has his hat pulled down low all Gangsta Style, I think he rocks that look.  I'm still trying to figure out why he knees are all bent in backwards though, that looks like it would hurt.

Happy Birthday Little Guys!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Mother's Day, Without You Mom, Life Would Suck!

So another Mother's Day has come and past.

Wife got a pair of flip flops and some new sandals (somehow these are different things) and this awesome card.

Happy Mother's Day!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My Week Long Diversion

Just so you know, I am still alive, good news to all of you who are not beneficiaries on my life insurance policies.  For the last week I have been really busy losing 10 pounds and working on my new shirt project.  I promised pictures for the 3 of you who care, so here they are.

It actually turned out pretty good for my first shirt.  After about 10 more, they might be marketable.  And you have to love the color.  Enjoy.

I cut up an old Tommy Hilfiger shirt to get the plaid fabric for the plackets, under collar and inside of the cuffs.  No big loss there.

There were only a couple of problems, as you can probably see, I didn't trim the neck seams right, so it gathers a bit there.

Also, I used a basic placket on the sleeves, so it is not as sexy as my next attempt will be, and frankly I'm not really a big fan of this style, but since I forgot to pre-wash the fabric, this is a 1 time wear as if I do wash it, it will look horrible.

Notice how I put a huge mitre on the corners of this cuff.  I was going to go smaller, but I liked it like this.

Oh, and I haven't put the buttons on it yet, I'm waiting on a new rolled hem foot from Bernina in order to finish the bottom hem, and I'm using that as an excuse to delay the buttons as well (which I am going to take off the same Tommy shirt.