Monday, March 19, 2012

Labor Dispute: 6 Yr Old Under Investigation by Obama Administration

Austin TX.  A 6 year old this week is under investigation by the Obama Administration and the National Labor Relations Board after it was confirmed that he ignored a recent NLRB appeal to an administrative law judge forcing Boeing to make Airplanes only in Union friendly states like Washington and far from more business friendly States like South Carolina and Texas.

"Little Guy" Balboa, 6 (Left),  is under investigation for allegedly procuring aircraft materials under a historically widely used, but now under investigation,  distribution channel and assembling the aircraft in Texas.  When asked for a comment, Little Guy noted that he did not know what a National Labor Relations Board was, and noted that he had not contacted his local aircraft manufacturers union to discuss a possible deal.

The local aircraft union president said that he was looking forward to talks with Balboa, but that he would only agree to a deal where Balboa would pay all labor costs, plus overtime and expenses for 4 qualified aircraft assemblers.  He noted that the project was expected to take about 6 weeks, and also that the workers would require about 6 months of paid training on the specific type of aircraft to be assembled.  Additionally, he also noted that the assembly process involved dangerous components known to cause death if not handled correctly.  He specifically cited the warning label (below) on the component packaging.  The family has claimed that they have read and are in strict compliance with the warnings.

The timing of the project is pending as the government is assessing the need for an environmental impact study for which the Obama Administration has also filed suit with the EPA.  Though the administration noted that they would forgo the need for a study if the boy posted a $3.6B Superfund Bond with the EPA.

When asked for comment, a Department of Commerce spokesman noted that while the building materials in question may have been procured legally, the chain of custody of the materials could not be verified. The spokesman specifically noted that "We have reason to believe that the "agents" that brought the materials to be "dumped" were not the original procurers of the materials,"  he continues, "We did a background check on each "agent" and none of them had a credit card, and each of the products was purchased with a credit card from local merchants known to do significant amounts of business with countries such as China, Korea and Vietnam, so the transaction looks very suspect to us at this time, and we will have no further comment until we finish the investigation, though we have reason to believe that each of them had a close family member involved, maybe a parent."

The department contends that the materials were "given" to Balboa via a widely abused process often used by many countries wherein those countries would "dump" excess inventory at below market rates in countries were they are trying to acquire a footprint in commerce and drive local suppliers out of business.

In this case it appears that the suppliers all got together at a single location and "gave" their products to Balboa after a lavish reception that included a fully catered dinner and a "one of a kind" desert specifically designed by a Master Confectioner, who was also on hand at the reception to personally serve each "guest".

The family contends that the anti-dumping claims should not apply in this case as "consideration" (or payment, in non-legalese), while not immediate or documented in terms of receipts, is reciprocal for each agent supplying materials, and except in rare cases is done at fair arm's length rates.  The family noted that this consideration is generally spaced out over the course of the year, sometimes provided before or after this particular occurrence, though exact dates could not be readily provided.  The consideration is often given in cash, gift cards or "payments in kind" (legalese for exchanging one item for another "like" or similar item).

The government in anticipation of this "fair consideration" line of defense also invoked the FCPA (Foreign Corrupt Practices Act) whereby the government makes it illegal to bribe foreign or domestic officials in return for favorable commercial access to a specific territory or contract.  When asked about the alleged bribes, the accused's (not a word) father, Brigham, noted that giving out small tokens of appreciation to each supplier or "guest" as he referred to them, was normal and completely within government guidelines and societal norms.

The family said in a statement through their attorney that they would stand by their son, grandson, nephew and brother and fight what they see as an unjust government overreach into little kids' birthday parties.

The family has also vowed to to fight to help families everywhere feel safe knowing that if their son or daughter receives a Lego set, erector set or Lincoln Logs which require assembly at their birthday party, they will be able to legally resist the tortious union bosses and their enforcers.  In that spirit, the family has also vowed to join Boeing to fight government's war against manufacturing.  They believe that any child in any state should be allowed to build Lego airplanes without having to submit to backroom union payoffs and government red tape.

Additionally, the family attorney said that the family will continue to provide a small bag of candy, pencils and stickers to their guests despite the fear of investigation and prosecution from the federal government in order to ensure the happiness of their guests.

I crack myself up.

2 comments:

MentieMom said...

Way to go Mason....keeping fighting for the right to build.

Genius said...

Agreed to mentiemom

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